Zenara25 wrote: What I was trying to get across was that if you can't be tactful (which cesman apparantly can't be) don't reply at all. I would rather not have to read cesman's responses. I'd much prefer to wait for some one who is empathetic.
Just another thought, remember that you're dealing with people with a problem solving rather than a touchie-feelie mindset.
Both have their place, but given the basic truth that "reality is not optional", and the fact that you're trying to solve a problem, what would you rather have, a meaningful answer from someone who is curt and possibly even "not nice" (probably because, you're the 32nd person this week who didn't bother to do their homework, and seems to feels that the answer should be delivered on a silver platter and spoon fed to them, and the attitude has become annoying), or a useless answer that's all sweetness and light?
From a touchie-feelie perspective, this is actually an amazingly friendly and helpful group. Rude responses usually result from bad manners on the part of a newbie or someone who should know better. Just like travelling in a foreign land, it pays to know the local manners if you want to avoid problems. When you don't do your own research first you're being rude and insulting on several levels.
- Asking FAQs and off topic posting is a form of littering
- Demanding "personal service" carries the implication that our time isn't worth anything compared to yours. Just because we're "giving it away" pro bono doen't make the time worthless.
- We're investing that time in a community. That means that people acting like game theory "defectors" need to be discouraged lest they destroy it.
- Failing to use the documentation resources provided through the personal efforts of people like Cecil, Xsecrets, ... insults their work and wastes their efforts.
- ...
Pointed responses usually indicate that you've failed to grasp the clue that someone just put in your hand and possibly even wrapped your fingers around and they think that a sharp nudge is needed to get through to you. Embarassment is often a wonderful spur to memory or attention. When I'm teaching, training, or mentoring it's usually reserved as a technique of last resort for people who think they can "phone it in" or "skate". Some people seem to need a bigger dose than others to get the point....
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