Alright I finally got to the point where I can see and hear TV, change channels, schedule recordings, etc. etc. However, the image is in black and white, full of static, and the sound is pretty distorted.
For reference, I am running:
AMD 2600+ Sempron
Abit NF7-SG2 mobo
Asus v7700 (Geforce 2 gts I think?)
Hauppauge PVR-500
512 mb DDR-400
80 gb HD

Heres what I do to get where I am:
Install off of the KnoppMyth AutoInstall procedure
Untar the Kernel, then install IVTV .3.9
Copy HwcMakoA.ROM (sp?) over to where it goes (if you can't tell I'm just writing this from memory)

At this point I just download all the programming info and have all my settings in Myth set. Then I can watch tv in all its black-and-white fuzzy static glory.
As far as I can tell, with IVTV 3.9 there is nothing to set in /etc/mythtv/modules/IVTV because 'options IVTV' and 'options Tuner' as well as the others just cause errors when it loads. Is there somewhere else I should be fiddling with settings to correct the quality?

Check the log for errors.

/var/log/messages

See if you can determine if the right modules for your card are loading.

Alright I got it all running. Anyone who is looking for help with the PVR-500 and finds this should go to the Tier 2 area where I posted my steps to victory ^__^